The Rum Diary is the latest film starring everyone’s favorite gay pirate: Johnny Depp. Depp plays Paul Kemp, a novelist trying to make some cash as a freelance journalist for a failing paper in Puerto Rico.  It was written and directed by Bruce Robinson, who’s last directing venture was Jennifer Eight with Andy Garcia in 1992. The screen play is an adaptation of the novel of the same name by Hunter S. Thompson.

As I do with all flicks based on books, I’m going to ignore the fidelity it has to Thompson’s Novel. (Which is badass so you should read it anyways.)

The movie starts with a scene of  a hangover morning in what I swear could have been a reality Show on Depp’s life. It’s exactly how I’d be if I were Depp. F–ked up in a random hotel room craving eggs with blood vessels busted in my eyes.

This flick follows the misadventures of Paul Kemp while in Puerto Rico. It really feels as if this script was written while Robinson was really high on five different psychedelic drugs. Theres constant change in direction. Unlike Napoleon Dynamite, there is reason for the conflict but shares the same lack for true resolve.

What worked for this film:
– The dialog between Depp and paper photog, Sala (Michael Rispoli). I could have watched a three-hour film with just a mid shot on these two talking.
– Kemp’s love interest: Chenault. Need we say more?

What didn’t work for this film:
– Giovanni Ribisi. Moburg as a character was too eclectic and animated for what I felt to be a “realistic” film.
– The drug trip scene with the CGI. Really guys?
– The lack of resolve during the film.
– The camera work. I don’t know. For me a film should have a constant style. This just kept changing. Not to mention a very “up-chuck” inducing walking beach scene.
– The erratic mess of direction. Was this a buddy-stoner/drunk film? Because I know another movie where 2 idiots have a small baby blue car that goes missing. And that one had more boobs!

This film gets the toilet!