Fast Five

Release date: April 29, 2012 Fast Five

After five flicks, they ran out of tag-lines.

I got a speeding ticket a few weeks ago. Thinking about it made me go back and watch a film that has a base built around fast cars and racing. Fast Five barely has either! I never said I was a good person to pick themed films.

That’s right I watched Fast Five directed by Justin Lin, who is known for a few past Fast and Furious films as well as a couple solid Community episodes. This flick was written by Chris Morgan and also stars: (Take a deep breath) Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Jordana Brewster, Tyrese Gibson, Ludacris, Matt Shulze, Sung Kang, Gal Gadot, Tego Calderon, Don Omar, Joaquim de Almeida and Dwayne “THE ROCK” Johnson. (Breath)

Fast Five reunites almost every surviving character from the franchise. In Brazil, Dominic Toretto (Diesel) and Brian O’Conner (Walker) call in the misfit auto-cavalry to pull off one last heist to buy their freedom while taking down an infamous druglord and evading a no-nonsense federal agent with a serious rage problem.

This film continues the trend set by the fourth film in the Fast and Furious franchise aptly titled: Fast and Furious. This trend? Not much racing. Nope. Not a racing movie. This one has an elaborate plot to pull off a heist that if all goes to plan will make each member of the crew pretty damn rich. Sounds familiar? OCEAN’S ELEVEN. Well more like Ocean’s Thirteen, but who am I to get picky here?

Fast Five takes us deep into the city of Rio de Janeiro where the world hasn’t showed in a month, but we forgive it because it has sass. Not Honey Boo Boo‘s sass, but heart-of-gold sass. This film, like the others before tends to try to balance comedy, with action and raw emotion. Thankfully it doesn’t fail at doing so while also letting the audience get drenched in The Rock’s sweat.


– The comedy. Like I mentioned above: this film knows when to crack a joke. You’ll find yourself chuckling moments after a disastrous happening; which isn’t a bad thing.

– Ludacris. I like this guy.

– Jordana Brewster. Girl got them acting chops. While sometimes Diesel and Walker feel like they’re reading their lines on a teleprompter behind the camera ala Obama, she brings a sense of truth or rawness to her lines that suck your right back in.

– The Rock. Many credit him and his character giving a renewed push to the series. His intensity and rage in the role always make his scenes quick and powerful, much like the cars used to drag a 20 ton vault through the streets of that poor city.


– The Rock. Yes! I’ve done it. I said The Rock worked AND didn’t work in this flick. Deal with it. Though emphasizing the importance of catching Toretto and O’Conner with his intensity, when in a calmer scene I feel he could have used a towel to wipe the sweat from his Samoan brow and dropped his volume from a 11 to a four.

– Diesel and Walker. Though they might be the perennial stars of this franchise, they aren’t the best actors. I would play these guys firmly between Snooki and Jason Statham. A wide range, for the different scenes these guys had.

– The plot. Typical “revenge Heist.” It’s so close to Ocean’s Thirteen that I’ll probably end up watching it this week.


A familiar plot with familiar faces doesn’t make or break a film. What makes this movie a good time, is that Justin Lin probably knew he was remaking a million movies in this one and decided that it should be beautiful looking and have a fun atmosphere. He pulls it off well. There’s cars, girls, guns, fights, money and a crazy car chase. All the ingredients in a fun night watching a movie. Fast Five is 80% Prime Awesome! 

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